On life, and not having control.

Last week I was in a pretty terrifying car situation where everything that I was previously confident about was suddenly in question. Am I okay? Is our baby okay? I've had absolutely the most normal pregnancy, free from concerns and full of peace, so I began to start feeling pretty sure of things continuing that way, and, in a way, trusting in the health of my body to keep sustaining our baby. 

Sometimes it takes a scary moment like that to put into perspective the mind-blowing truth that I am not the one in control.

I hear that this illusion of control is a constant tension and struggle, especially in the parenting life. I want to protect my child and do everything in my power to keep him or her safe. And then I realize that my power is so insignificant, with no guarantee of safety. Then I am drawn back to the Lord and His call to trust Him. And terrified because scary things happen every day to people who trust in God. And then finally, maybe, coming around to the realization that even though bad things happen, God is still the only one worthy of my trust and the only one who has the power to protect the people I love most. And I might stay there in that trusting place for like a second before the cycle begins again.

Praise be to God for His amazing protection over us in that scary time, and every minute that he gives us breath and causes us to wake up each morning! God grant me the trust to place our child in Your hands, and let me rest in your goodness and trustworthiness!



  1. I struggled with control issues while pregnant too; and finally decided to just trust God and then shockingly I realized that trusting God did not mean I would automatically get a baby but that if I didn't get a baby I had to trust that that was his plan too. Invaluable lesson!

    1. Such a hard lesson to learn, and I'm sure that I will continue to learn and re-learn it many times in parenting! Thanks for the encouragement :)

  2. First, I'd like to say that I love your home and think you've made some great design decisions. Everything that you and your husband have done is beautiful! Second, thanks so much for your bold honesty and using your blog as a platform to glorify God. I've always struggled with resting in and trusting God--especially right now. This is exactly what I needed to read. Thank you for the encouragement!


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